Mr. Anonymous, Is That You?

So I see an old friend pop on AIM and I decide to say hi. Last time he had juicy spoilers for me, I held back on coming right out with the info and made it into a guessing game. Since, I've kinda lost the hunger for getting spoilers. All of this is to say: I really was just saying hello.

But he had an update for me. Secret Avengers lineup.

Hmmm. Eclectic damn thing. We both agree that, if anyone can pull it off, Bru is the man. We disagree on whether it is a definite that Bru and Deodato can make it sell well, in addition to being a quality product. Then again, I guess cast didn't significantly hurt Avengers: The Initiative or the later issues of Mighty Avengers.

I'll say popular opinion on the first teasers is correct. I'll be picking up the first few issues just to see how they make this thing work.

God Help Me: I Agree With Tabu

I bought a book I don't normally buy, lured in by the collection of characters on the cover. I know, never a solid reason to buy a book

In addition to normally not buying it, I'd also pretty much avoid reviewing it for reasons that you're either aware of or you're not, but I'm not going into here. Suffice to say you can find that story elsewhere on the blog.

But when I read this Hannibal Tabu mini-review of the book, I had to comment:

Hank Pym's role in "Mighty Avengers" #30 was one of the most insultingly stupid things to happen in comics in years. No question. He has a conversation ... let's just say that he chats with somebody who he should have no right to chat with, gets ascribed a title that makes no sense given that he was kidnapped and hidden away by the Skrulls for years, leaving the alleged role undone and untended. So even while Hercules has some fun lines ("As the Argonauts used to say to the ladies of Crete, welcome aboard!") the pathetic attempt at building Hank Pym up into being somebody past the whiny, identity-switching, wife-beating, wackjob he's been for years just fails.

Yeah, I don't know that I could add too much more to it other than it read EXACTLY like a fanfic by someone who has thought Hank Pym was just the bestest and favoritest of all Staggerin' Stan Lee's creations. You don't see this kind of four-color funny-book fellatio every day.

It's the laziest kind of "let me build up this character in an instant" garbage only seen in the aforementioned fanfic and the shittiest Silver Age books ever scene (particularly a Super Powers mini-series where they had to introduce a character that needed to impress all of the JLA).

It's an idea that was completely flawed from the start. The only thing Christos Gage could have done was just refused to be involved with it so he wouldn't be associated with such an amateur premise. But since Marvel seems to give him a lot of work substitute-scripting on books, I can't blame him for trudging through it.

But wow...other than having a talented Greek writer put a great line in the mouth of a Greek character...there was really nothing redeeming about this book.

(all of this the fault of the Wildstorm twitter account for linking to Tabu giving Ex Machina a "meh")

New Mighty Avengers Lineup?

Rich Lovatt over on Comic By Comic found a three piece cover that he thinks might shed some light on the new Mighty Avengers lineup. Click on over to see the whole thing.

Slott On Mighty Avengers?

So...they hand Mighty Avengers to one of the few people that couldn't keep their Bendis SI info straight?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Bendis clearly established that War Machine was supposed to be the only set of armor not completely linked to Stark's networks, making him safe from the Skrulls' virus attack. Yet Slott wrote him as suffering from that same virus in an issue of Avengers: The Initiative?

A guy can't manage to coordinate one book with Bendis, so he gets another he has to coordinate with him? Weird.

Speaking Of Continuity Problems

Much has been made of the first issue of Final Crisis not matching up with the end of Countdown to Final Crisis. But, on this Wednesday, one writer managed to write two issues that contradict each other on continuity.

Without getting into specifics (out of respect for those who haven't read the issues yet), New Avengers and Mighty Avengers contradict each other when it comes to the timeline of Hank Pym's being replaced with a Skrull. In a big way.

If anyone can give me an explanation as to how it can be explained away as to no longer be a contradiction, please hit me with a message at schwapponline at gmail dot com.

SCHWAPP!!! Comics Week 28: Secret Invasion #2

Fourthman Reviews: Mighty Avengers #10 & Thunderbolts #119

By Lee Newman

The Mighty Avengers #10
Published by Marvel
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Mark Bagley

Mighty Avengers, you had such promise when you started. There was the idea of a registration Avengers team. There was the powerhouse of your line up. To start out you had BMB and Frank Cho and followed that up with Mark Bagley. Kind of like a certain President, you took that mandate and literally flushed it down the toilet. Oh, you didn’t lie to us, not really. You were just plagued by delays and boring drawn out stories that lost their dramatic impact by having the albatross of being three to four months behind the rest of the Marvel Universe behind you. As an imaginary story years down the road, you might have lived up to your promise, but alas it was not meant to be.

This is, by far, the worst issue yet. Really, nothing that is in this comic has been done and redone for forever. The promise of excitement by the funny coloring and the time displacement was lost by a first page that had nothing to do with events of the last issue and still leaves my head itchy. Then Bendis uses his new toys, thought bubbles, to paraphrase the words in the narrative boxes right next to them. Then there is the Sentry as babbling nutcase. Yeah, that got tired a couple years ago. He is the most powerful being in your universe stop coddling him, have him do something or let him get killed by the Skrulls. Please. Cliche after cliche pretty much hits us after this point. The Sentry throws Ben out a window to catch him? We have never seen that in a comic before. There is some witty banter between Doom and Stark, but it is all too little. Really the only clever part in the whole story is the use of Mastermind’s gambit to give the trio a way out of the past.

Bagley. I just don’t get the love. It must be that he is fast. Because, otherwise he seems like pretty typical 90's Marvel House art and when I use the word House art, I am never being kind. Really it is the coloring here by Ponsor that should be showcased, given the book the old school vibe that everyone seems to think is there.

This story does two things to me.. It bores me and it insults my intelligence by assuming that I have never read a comic before. Bad show guys, bad show.

Thunderbolts #119
Published by Marvel
Written by Warren Ellis
Art by Mike Deodato, Jr.

So over in Iron Fist, Brubaker and Fraction have been dragging a story that was okay into the decompressed ground. Well now Ellis, a writer that I have the utmost respect for, is doing the same.

Here’s how it all plays out...

The Thunderbolts in lock down in the mountain: genius.
Norman showing his true schizophrenic colors: brilliant.
Swordmaster pitting security guards against security guards: priceless.

However, the bimonthly schedule is playing havoc on my tiny brain. I don’t even remember who the villains are or why Doc Sampson is with Robbie. I read way too many books to be lost until half way through, wondering if I read the last issue before it all starts to make sense. It all boils down to us being on part four of a storyline that should probably be finishing up, but instead there is a nice “to be continued” at the end of the issue.

Warren is writing for the trade? Really? I am so disappointed.

Deodato does fine with what he is given, but there is not much to work with. A 30 second shoot out takes up FOUR PAGES and then has an epilogue that is a TWO PAGE SPLASH SPREAD!

It isn’t a bad book, it has just gone on too long. It’s time to put this one to rest, guys.

SCHWAPP!!! Comics Week 22.1: Mighty Avengers #8