Oddly Educational: Food Fight

Trust me: I believe a bunch of people who are watching this on YouTube will spend so much time trying to figure out what food is which country that they'll end up learning some world history along the way. Kudos to Tourist Pictures' Stefan Nadelman.

Dear God, Tell Me Girl Wonder Will Be All Over This?

Well...the news is out, apparently: Buffy has visited the Isle of Lesbos.

More interesting than the development on the page is how people are reacting in the real world. I mean...forget about whether it was done for titillation or not (I'd contend that it was, to some degree). Focus on how frat boy some of the average reader reactions are going to be.

The Thursday Morning Quarterback over at Wizard Universe might be a microcosm of what is going on in many comic shops this week:

RICKEY: “It was different here with Buffy; she’s just experimenting. Not being a girl myself, I don’t know what’s up with girls ‘experimenting’ with sex like this; I thought it usually happened in college when they’re drunk. But here, I’m not sure why it happened, especially after last issue, when she told Satsu to leave her alone.”

ANDY: “But isn’t that sort of right in line with Buffy’s character? She shouldn’t love Angel…but she did. She shouldn’t have slept with Spike…but she did. She claims not to be attracted to Satsu…but of course, she is! And seriously, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s well known that women like women; some just take it further than others!”

RICKEY: “Yeah, but it’s like switching from hockey to baseball!”

[LAUGHS]

TJ: “It just seems like she’s a little old to be experimenting. Buffy’s the same age as me, 25, so it seems like she should be over this kind of stuff at this point.”

ANDY: “Yeah, but Buffy’s so lonely, and there aren’t much in the ways of guys around right now besides Xander. And c’mon—girls feel nice! Who wouldn’t want to get up next to one?”

[LAUGHS]

RICKEY: “This issue really did a good job of making me imagine things from outside the scene; the story really took me places in my own mind. Like the scene where Willow’s flying Andrew in and they see Dawn sleeping in the barn: Does Dawn sleep out the cold when it’s not raining? That must suck! And of course, what was going on with Buffy and Satsu BEFORE we see them under the sheets! I’m going to imagine that one some more right now!”


Well, that's some really good stuff right there. Nice to see Wizard unabashedly trying to attract the 40 Year Old Virgin style of fanboy.

Fourthman Reviews: Young Liars, New Dynamix & Comic Book Comics

by Lee Newman

Young Liars #1
Published by Vertigo
Written and Illustrated by David Lapham

As far as I know, the only thing I have ever read by David Lapham is issue one and two of Spider-Man: With Great Power.... I know that he is famous for Stray Bullets and some mystery graphic novels, but I haven't read any of those. This book isn'[t exactly making me rush out to read any of his other work.

Here we have the sordid romance of Danny Noonan and Sadie Dawkins. It is very well written with a keen eye on dialogue. Problem is I don't like the characters and it seems to me the events that are set in motion at the end of this first issue are just deserts.

The art does nothing for me either. It is competent enough, it has that adult cartoonist style to it. The lines are strong and consistent, but while it is more polished then say Black Hole, it lacks the emotional power of something like Blankets. It just leaves me kind of "meh".

In a sense this is the anti-Vinyl Underground. Both have characters that I despise. This one is superbly written, the other not so much. Liars is not pretty, Underground is gorgeous. Yet based on first issues alone, something about Underground has kept me compelled to keep reading, this one... I may just thumb through issue 2.

"Ultimate Comics, we have more comics then your shop has!"

The New Dynamix #1
Published by Wildstorm
Written by Allen Warner
Art by JJ Kirby

A comic book about missing Super Heroes. Seems like there is one of those every other week these days. Here the twist it is a character we haven’t seen in a while, Black Halo, is going to figure out what is going on. We also have the Sword and a new hero named Love Rocket.

I was unfamiliar with even the old characters here. Probably has something to do with me missing the Image years of Wildstorm. There has been an awful lot happening in the Wildstorm Universe as of late. Armageddon and Revelations. Horribly late titles and oh yeah, apparently it is part of the DC multiverse now. Great books like Welcome to Tranquility are on hiatus. It all leaves one scratching their head, saying “what’s going on?”

That is exactly the feeling I had reading this book. Not knowing who anyone was bad enough, but it all just kind of happens. There are long soliloquies in word bubbles, but they don’t ring true as dialogue and more often than not, they don’t really help the story progress. There is an interesting enough premise, a super powered being takes a kid hostage during a super powered being crisis. This guy wants Black Halo to come out of hiding, but it doesn’t turn out the way it was supposed to. Wow, when you say it like that, it just seems that much more derivative.

The art is weird. The character designs are nice enough and Kirby has a strong line and sense of action. However, he has an uncanny knack for choosing to put the weirdest expressions on the faces of his characters. It is a little unnerving.

All in all, if I weren’t a junkie and didn’t have a near limitless budget for comics, I would probably give the second issue a pass. However, I know that second issues are sometimes capable of turning a series around. So here’s hoping it comes out on a light week and doesn’t end up in the back up pile.

"Ultimate Comics, we have more comics then your shop has!"

Comic Book Comics #1
Published by Evil Twin
Written by Fred Van Lente
Illustrated by Ryan Dunleavy

As you may be able to tell, I absolutely love comic books. They are my favorite form of entertainment. Through the years, various writers and artists have found a myriad of ways to take this medium and tell any number of different stories. From the simple beauty of Little Nemo In Slumberland to the complex prose/graphic design fusion of Jonathan Hickman's work, there is simply no other flight of fancy that elicits the same joy and excitement from me.

This particular endeavor by the genius's behind Action Philosphers is especially appealing to me. While their previous book was intriguing, it was a niche book in a niche segment of entertainment. While the idea of that book appealed to me, I heard about it a little late and never got around to checking it out. For the second time this week, I am compelled to read an earlier work becuase of the strength of a first issue. This book is just what the title implies, it is a comic book about comic books. To be more exact, it is a comic book history of the medium. It picks up the story in October 18, 1896 (the day William Randolph Hearst started publishing The American Humorist) to the dawn of the Golden Age. It is an informative and often hilarious look at the early years of the funny book.

Dunleavy employs a cartoon style for much of the book. The genius here is that he mimics early forms of comics. This adds to the heavily researched work by Van Lente and actually shows the thought and care given this project. It also sheds a glimpse into just how much the art form has changed over the years.

I've thought about this one for two days now. It really impressed me more than any other comic I have read recently (except for Dave Sim's absolutely incredible Glamourpuss) and while some may disagree with me, I think it is a perfect comic book in it's fusion of words and pictures to give us a history like none other before it. It is a unique achievement and something the creators should be proud of. For me, it is the best comic book of this week.

Schwapp@TheMovies: 10,000 B.C.

10,000 B.C. is not a bad movie. It, also, is not the type of movie that it was advertised as being. There is nothing epic about this movie, aside from a few remarkable special effect scenes.

No, it is a movie that has the feel of a buddy action flick set in pre-historic days. While many focus their ire on improbable bits and pieces for the time (perfect white teeth, "just try it!" dialog, etc), I was more focused on the wooden acting of the actor charged with the lead character, D'Leh. He couldn't emote convincingly to save his life, unfortunately. Aside from his love interest, he was surrounded by thespians that, while maybe not perfect, certainly knew how to sell emotion on screen.

Once the action hits, though, you can forgive stiff acting and get lost in the chaos on screen. While the plot and scenes of the movie read like formula lifted from the 80s, this movie benefits greatly from the technological benefits of today. Any business it does will largely be due to its effects and the key placement of a few quality actors.

It isn't a terrible film. It is a mediocre popcorn flick (a type of movie that normally strains to be mediocre from the start). But some of the action scenes are sold with such amazing special effects that you may just want to see a budget showing of this film at an early matinée or when it hits the second run theater.

Fourthman Reviews: LOGAN #1

by Lee Newman

Logan #1
Published by Marvel
Written by Brian K Vaughan
Art by Eduardo Risso

Wow, leave it to BKV to make the most interesting Wolvie story since Millar’s final issue. Like Wolverine (Vol. 2) #32, this book is set in World War Two. Here, Logan meets Atsuko in the Japanese country side and after the last page which has an awesome reveal… you know this can’t end well.

Vaughan is sparse with the internal monologue. While the lack of narration hurt early issues of Wolverine Origins, Vaughan uses it to cut down on the Noir kitsch and allows the character to breath. Here we find out (at least in this Marvel Knights title, which the line really seems to be going the Elseworlds route of late) that Wolverine’s memory has been spotty for a long time. Evidently, the House of M events brought back the repressed memories on display here (further confounding my attempts to figure out what that MK means in the top right corner of the cover). There is an interesting story set up here with plenty of foreshadowing to what is in store the three issues. As always, BKV brings solid dialogue and great plotting.

"Ultimate Comics, we have more comics then your shop has!"

Risso and colorist Dean White set a powerful palette in place. The setting and the art recall Frank Miller and Chris Claremont’s inaugural run with the title in the 80’s. Juxtaposing the modern mutant with the 40’s soldier works quite effectively, but the real star here is the shadows. With those, the art team provides a dark and foreboding backdrop to much of the book adding to the coming suspense while showcasing every detail.

A top notch effort. Worth picking up before scant ordering makes it hard to find. With all the hype of the end of Y, movie talk and Vaughan’s gig as Lost writer, this may be hard to find in a week or
two. Also, like Origin before it, when Wolverine is good, the fans go crazy.

Attention: All Haters, Please Read

There are a number of people who comment on my posts that are really only swinging by the site to bash me for personal grudges they have against me, unrelated to the topics involved in the posts they are commenting on. I'm calling them "haters" for the sake of this post.

I offer you haters a weekly post where I will print whatever criticisms you e-mail to me (or post somewhere I can obtain it from, if you don't want to share one of your undoubtedly many different e-mail addresses). That weekly feature will be a DMZ. You can post whatever hate you want there.
Really. Anything you want to say. No holds barred. ANYTHING.

But any posts that add nothing to the level of discourse on other blogs...comments just meant to take driveby shots at me...will be deleted and referred to that weekly feature blog.

Think about it: wouldn't you just love to see a thread that is just about insulting me wind up with more comments than all other threads?

SCHWAPP!!! Comics: Bag O' Comics!

Oh Bendis, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?

Anyone who has read a bit of my work here knows I tend to slag on Marvel. My dislike has little to do with their product and everything to do with the manner they hawk it (going beyond hucksterism and into direct lies, recently).

But through the work of the wonderful John Siuntres Word Balloon work with Brian Bendis, I started to soften my stance on Marvel. The reverence he has for Quesada helps reinforce that, whatever outlandish lengths they go to in their efforts to sell books, their heart is always in the right place.

Then there was the thread on the Bendis Boards (covered by Rich Johnston at the link) where he seemed to overreact to hype from Grant Morrison that attempted to dissuade readers from checking out Secret Invasion, as it was all "been there, done that" type material. The thread was started by a pro-Marvel/anti-DC troll (pictured at right with Bendis) and humored by the comic book creator with a response.

guys calm down. he shit talked. so what? i thought it was a little beneath him too, but, hey, its comics. he's having a row, as they say.

same shit gail does all the time. they must teach a class in it over there.

and although i pulled a hammy holding in the jokes goofing on that picture, i say let it ride.

knowing what everyone in the industry knows about what's going on with 'his' book behind the scenes, even jokingly, he really should keep his yap el shutto.

Adding later:

in 2012 when final crisis is done, we'll see what's what.

Gail Simone called him on it, somewhat cordially. She couldn't understand why he was being so sensitive and attempted to defuse it all by assuring Bendis how everyone in the industry knows he didn't become a top talent in the industry by being a hack. Simone repeated this sentiment often, expressing how the fans were going to be the winners this summer because there are two great events to be interested in.

There was a large lull in responses from anyone of note, just a lot of useless back and forth by message board posters. The originator of the thread found himself in the barrel, having jokes made at his expense regarding how he has often carried himself on those boards. I went away for the afternoon to hit the gym and, when I came back, the thread was gone. Thankfully, Rich Johnston (and his sources) were not away at the gym for the end.

Below is an account of some of the stuff he typed, according to Rich's column. I don't know if it was all in one post or spread out over many responses, so I'm reprinting it as it was found:

"holy fuck!! this is the dumbest thread full of stupid on the entire internet!!! and that is saying something.

"you see the fucking smiley faces on my original posts?? it means i'm goofing around!!! like grant seemingly was!!

"see how i have no smiley faces here?? means i'm not!!

"who gives a fucking shit about any of this!! what does it have to do with comics or storytelling or art or fun!!

"gail, go outside, you're losing your mind!! you're on here 24/7 taking shots. i mention you once and we get a lecture. you ARE dave sim. so get some air!!!

"comics are fun!! they are art!! none of this thread is.

"go read the killer. its fucking fantastic.

"and if you were el douchy enough to cut and paste my other posts, minus smileys, on other boards, to see if you can start shit or something.... time to do some soul searching, i would think."

Now, there's really no "joking" way to say "knowing what everyone in the industry knows about what's going on with 'his' book behind the scenes". Smiley face or not, it isn't a good-spirited statement of any kind. Which is what throws everything he originally said into a different light and, while I like to believe he knows what he meant better than anyone, makes it doubtful that he is being truthful about how he meant his initial statements.

Gail comes back and has a brief statement that, while not filled with bile and venom, isn't meant to be building any bridges to peace, either.

"Yikes. The Bendis over-reaction train keeps a'rollin' on!

""Taking shots 24/7?"

"Have you gone nuts?

"Yikes."

Then the thread goes bye-bye. Bendis made some sort of post where he thanked people for reporting posts in the thread and that it had become all "lord of the flies in there", which would seem to be his reason for nuking (rather than just locking?) the thread.

There's a temptation during our less than stellar moments to find some way to erase them if there is any way possible. The internet/information age makes that even harder to do than it might have previously been. You're better off just trying to forget it happened than trying to make it disappear. It only gets worse.

Still Missing Peter & MJ...and 'Ringo

MJ almost looks like she has a John Romita, Jr, influence going on. Great pic. Really apropos. For that and so much more, Wieringo will always be missed.