Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Mr. Anonymous Reveals The 2010 Winner Of The EPIC FAIL Award

UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: Nothing below is meant to suggest that XMEN: LEGACY is ending. The teasers implied to me that there wold be a new X-MEN title, which is what I was going on. Mr. Anonymous has just reached out to me to clarify Carey's book and his run on it are not being ended. Also, I may have been too cute in saying "when you're the ArchAngel". Some are thinking this is editorially mandated; no, it is from David Gabriel (get it? archangel?). 

You know what rarely works out well? When the business-minded folks at the company force their "creative ideas" on their employees.

That's what is happening at Marvel.

When you're the Archangel at Marvel, there aren't a lot of people who can say no to you. When you decide that vampires are soooooooooooooooooooo "in", you can tell your people you have an idea that they just need to do and, well, who is going to tell the boss it sucks?

I speak of X-MEN. The adjective-free X-MEN book. The main focus of that book? Everyone's favorite mutants versus vampires. That's why there is blood dripping on the teasers. That's why you've seen Blade in one.

No one wants to be the one to edit it. The only creative team that would touch it is Victor Gischler and Paco Medina.

The next teaser? I'll have Nate Grey and Jubilee in it. Now, I don't know about Nate, but Ms. Lee?

Total bloodsucker.

That's right...Jubilee is being made into a vampire. The vocal minority that has lamented Marvel's handling (or lack of handling) of the character has GOTTA love that.

Oh...and all of the above? Brought to you by Mr. Anonymous. He, also, posted the first group shot of the Secret Avengers up on 4chan today. He wanted to be able to post it anonymously and thought I was still in my "I don't know that I want to catch shit from Marvel" phase. Lately? In the words of Mr. Mathers: I just don't give a fuck.

Now, word is that Marvel has completely rescinded advance review PDFs due to the Secret Avengers image getting out. As far as I know, Mr. Anonymous didn't get his stuff from PDFs dispersed to comic book "news" and review sites. So, their decision to shit on the people that more or less give them free advertisement? Not going to have an effect on keeping this shit locked down.

Mind you: if Marvel didn't insist on giving reviewers PDF copies that contain all of the ads that will run in the print version of the book, their wouldn't be spoilery house ads for them to worry about. Of course, the lineup was leaked long before this house ad, but don't expect facts and logic to get in the way of the Mighty Marvel Spiteful Brigade.


  1. "Now, word is that Marvel has completely rescinded advance review PDFs due to the Secret Avengers image getting out."

    From what I've heard on the grapevine, I thought this was solely because the official teaser which revealed what Quesada and Riveria's OMIT project is also got leaked. But I guess the Secret Avengers one along with the OMIT one might have been enough to make Marvel stop giving out advanced copies to reviewers.

  2. Ah, hadn't heard about the OMIT. Still the same "we include spoiler-filled ads in review copies that increase the probability of a leak" flaw that they're punishing everyone else for. And, of course, still "I'm not confident that those who leaked it got it from review PDFs".

  3. As a member of the vocal minority who has been hoping for a Jubilee resurfacing in the near future, consider me outraged! I'm greasing up my pitchfork and lighting up my torch as we speak.

  4. Hey Kevin, do you know who else is going to be revealed on the "We Are The X-Men covers?

  5. Nathan, I believe this was meant to be the last teaser. This is, again, something I didn't get an exact, definitive statement from Mr. Anonymous on, but just had a general feeling that it was the last one. Reviewing his actual messages, he simply referred to it as the "next teaser", so there may be others that just weren't key to the overall discussion.


    C2E2 Exclusive Revelations, my ass!

    -- Not the Leaker

  7. I see Mark Millar has seized the opportunity to fellate himself some more. What a douche.

    Oh, & X-Men vs. Vampires? That's fuggin' queer. Mainly because Paul Cornell already did it in Captain Britain, & NOTHING will come close to Dr. Doom & Dracula ON THE FUCKING MOON.

  8. New X-title is the one Rick Remender is apparently writing I suppose.



    Castlevania Dracula X: Rondo of Blood?

  9. From what I've heard on the grapevine, Marvel is goingto sue you and anyone else linked to the leaks. You better find some money quickly.

  10. I've yet to even get a cease and desist. And find some money? Unemployed with outstanding bills from an appendicitis and bout of sepsis. If they were to sue, they'd be added to the line of disappointed.

    That's silver lining to my otherwise sad circumstances: a drive-by anonymous, uninformed comment attempting to put some fear into my day is a big swing and a miss.


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