Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How NOT To Sell Me A DC Comics Issue

How DC turned me off in some of their solicitations this month:


Written by Matthew Sturges
Art by Freddie E. Williams II
Cover by Kako

Cars explode! Fireworks explode! People explode! Surprise villains make appearances...and explode! Get ready to run as the Human Flame ends up finding a new “benefactor” who may grant him a fate worse than death. Did we mention the explosions? Good, because this issue has tons of them.

On sale June 3 • 2 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
  1. Matthew Sturges (the man was the kiss of death to Shadowpact and Blue Beetle)
  2. Things explode. Waaaaaaaaaay too close to how Didio tried to pump up COUNTDOWN with "shit blows up" during the convention season run up.
  3. 4th wall breaking in the solicit (it can work sometimes; doesn't here)
  4. The "remember the thing we just put this character through recently? well, this thing here is like that one...on crack...with a Nazi-like twist!" thing.
Written by Joe Casey
Art by ChrisCross
Cover by Stanley “Artgerm” Lau

The following is a message on behalf of the Super Young Team:
The Super Young Team would like to formally and publicly sever all ties with the manufacturers of OXY-GEN. When the team agreed to be celebrity sponsors of the product, their contracts in no way disclosed the potential deadly side effects. We in no way endorse a product that could cause our fans to be harmed, and will be making a donation to the charities helping the victims of the OXY-GEN tragedy. In the meantime, please visit our website where you can leave video messages for your favorite member of Super Young Team, and be sure to take part in the trivia challenge!

On sale June 17 • 2 of 6 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
  1. Solicitations done "in character" that are more cute than useful
Written by Judd Winick
Art by Ed Benes & Rob Hunter
Cover by Tony Daniel & Sandu Florea
Variant cover by JG Jones

In this special epilogue to BATTLE FOR THE COWL, new BATMAN writer Judd Winick rejoins the Bat Family! This 40-page issue explores the final moments of the Battle for the Cowl as the new Batman learns that winning the Cowl comes at a high price! Witness the new Batman taking to the streets of Gotham City for the first time! Putting a new man inside the Bat-suit was the easy part – now the fun begins! Guest-starring Superman and Wonder Woman, this issue is a must-read for any Batman fan.

On sale June 10 • 40 pg, FC, $3.99 US
  1. Judd Winick...wait...nah. His previous Bat-run wasn't so bad.
  2. Oh wait: Ed Benes
  3. Misleading solicits. Unless something has changed drastically from what I've been hearing in back channels for what feels like a year now, there's something...I don't know...liar-liar-pants-on-fire-like about something said in that solicit.
Written by Geoff Johns
Art and covers by Ethan Van Sciver

At last, the answer to the question that’s plagued DC fans for decades: Who’s faster, Superman or The Flash? Call your bookie and bet the farm, because you’ve never seen a run like this – and if speedsters keep dying at the pace they’re going, you might never see another one again!

On sale June 10 • 3 of 5 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
  1. A solicit that gives the appearance that an one book in a five issue mini-series is going to be wasted rehashing a classic premise. Save it for the ongoing, folks.
Written by Matt Wayne
Art and cover by Howard Porter

At long last, the first meeting of Static and Black Lightning! Virgil Hawkins has always had a bit of a problem with authority figures – especially politicos as seemingly crooked as one-time Luthor crony Jefferson Pierce. When Black Lightning comes to speak at Hemingway High’s commencement, Static fully intends to give him a piece of his mind. But not if Holocaust takes a piece out of both of them first!
On sale June 17 • 32 pg, FC, $2.99 US
  1. Suggesting something is "at long last", implying that there has been some loud clamoring for something occurring when that is far from the truth. Hey, I like both characters (well, I like the universe Static comes from more than the character itself), but even I can see the ridiculously silly hype machine at work here.
Might come back to go over a few more turn-offs, but I need to find something else to do to get this sour taste out of my mouth for now. Where's my City of Heroes shortcut...


  1. I have to ask, what server do you play on? My server of choice is freedom.


  2. I just got back into the game last week. I'm spending my time on CHAMPION lately. My original creation is on some other server, but this one has my new scrapper that I'm enjoying and a blaster from Mars that DC Comics would probably like to have NC Soft remove from the server. ;)

  3. How did the solicit for Final Crisis Aftermath: Run break the 4th wall?

  4. Maybe "break the 4th wall" isn't the best way of describing it. But when they speak directly to the reader in this flippant way, rather than the standard solicitation style, it is comparable to a character breaking the 4th wall within a story, IMO.

  5. Those solicits read like Marvel solicits.


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